I have spent many years of my life feeling disempowered. In my mind, I was blaming my husband or my child or my circumstance for the way I was feeling. It was always someone elses’ fault. Needless to say, the result was me feeling angry or frustrated or just a plain victim.
I was feeling miserable but didn’t know how to change how I felt because it seemed like my thoughts were ingrained and almost seemed automatic and out of my control. In a success book by Jack Canfield I read that the first thing we needed to do to succeed was to take full responsibility for ourselves, our lives. Full responsibility does not equal blaming. Full responsibility does not equal feeling like a victim because of my circumstances. Full responsibility does not equal grumbling and complaining. I had the awareness of the need to take responsibility but I just did not know how to do so.
Then in my reading I came across a life changing belief to have. “Everything is happening for me”
This is a belief I started to have which slowly allowed me to take my power back. When my husband did not do what I had expected of me, the challenge I had was to ask of him instead of expect of him. When my child starts to throw a tantrum, the challenge I had was to be able to remain calm and still communicate clearly instead of reacting with anger. When work starts posing a myriad of difficulties, I start to look for how this could be happening for me instead of feeling like a victim of the problems.
With this “everything is happening for me” belief the undercurrents of expectations which I had of others started to diminish and my relationships started to improve.
The next time you notice yourself getting frustrated or angry at someone else or at an external circumstance, ask yourself how this situation is happening for you. Ask what growth opportunity do you have and ask how can this be for your highest good. Then you start to take responsibility instead of blaming someone or something for how you feel.
As always, please reach out if you need further support in this.
With gratitude.