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The single most important habit

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We all have questions in life.  Shall I quit this job?  Do I move to another location? How do I parent my child?

Then there are those deeper questions which some of us ask. Why do I feel so unhappy even though I seem to have everything?  What is my purpose in this life? Can I realise this long term dream which I have?

We have a habit of looking for answers from outside of ourselves.  Whether it is from a parenting expert or from books or from coaches we hire. 

Years ago, I had a mentor tell me that there is no substitute for spending time with yourself, asking yourself the questions and sitting with yourself listening for the answers from within. Of course I didn’t want to hear that.  I wanted her to give me the answers I was looking for.  

Fast forward a couple of years and I now get it.  I have come to realise that the single most important habit for my well being, for my sanity, my empowerment, my peace of mind, my state of joy and my fulfillment is sitting with myself, quietening my mind and just being still.

Just being still, observing and detaching from all the thoughts which we are so accustomed to thinking. 

Just being still and being with the breath, breathing in, breathing out being with the moment.

Just being still detaching from all the roles and identities we have placed on ourselves, connecting with who we are at our core.

It is from this place that we come home to ourselves. It is from this place where we can be grateful for this life, for this body, for  the challenges which are here for us to grow and transform and evolve. 

When you truely connect with who you are at the core, there is a peace from within.  The struggle stops.  There is a joy from within. It is not dependent on your circumstances and there is a strength from within.  You know that you can handle anything.  

If you are feeling like your energy is scattered, if you are feeling tired and drained or if you are feeling triggered easily, try incorporating this single most important habit into your life.  Just being still.

If you need support to do so, please reach out to me.

With gratitude.

 

Do you have a tendency to blame?

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I have spent many years of my life feeling disempowered.  In my mind, I was blaming my husband or my child or my circumstance for the way I was feeling.  It was always someone elses’ fault. Needless to say, the result was me feeling angry or frustrated or just a plain victim.

I was feeling miserable but didn’t know how to change how I felt because it seemed like my thoughts were ingrained and almost seemed automatic and out of my control. In a success book by Jack Canfield I read that the first thing we needed to do to succeed was to take full responsibility for ourselves, our lives. Full responsibility does not equal blaming. Full responsibility does not equal feeling like a victim because of my circumstances. Full responsibility does not equal grumbling and complaining.  I had the awareness of the need to take responsibility but I just did not know how to do so. 

Then in my reading I came across a life changing belief to have.  “Everything is happening for me”

This is a belief I started to have which slowly allowed me to take my power back.  When my husband did not do what I had expected of me, the challenge I had was to ask of him instead of expect of him.  When my child starts to throw a tantrum, the challenge I had was to be able to remain calm and still communicate clearly instead of reacting with anger.  When work starts posing a myriad of difficulties, I start to look for how this could be happening for me instead of feeling like a victim of the problems.    

With this “everything is happening for me” belief the undercurrents of expectations which I had of others started to diminish and my relationships started to improve. 

The next time you notice yourself getting frustrated or angry at someone else or at an external circumstance, ask yourself how this situation is happening for you.  Ask what growth opportunity do you have and ask how can this be for your highest good. Then you start to take responsibility instead of blaming someone or something for how you feel.

As always, please reach out if you need further support in this.

With gratitude. 

Are you tired?

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I am tired.

This was a very common presentation in my 18 years working as a general practitioner. 

From mothers to working individuals to adolescents. I am tired seems to be a prevalent symptom which presented itself to me.

Sometimes there was something medically obvious which accounted for the tiredness but more often than not, blood counts and other tests were normal.  And then I have to have the conversation about our lifestyle.  

The following is a gist of what I believe contributes to our feeling of tiredness or lack of energy.

  1. Our behaviour. This is the obvious reason why we could be tired all the time.  Are we getting enough sleep?  Are we eating foods which nourish our bodies? Are we exercising to improve our energy levels?
  2. Our thoughts.If we focus on the negative and the problems and what will go wrong all the time, we are bound to be tired.  If we are blaming others or our situation all the time, we are bound to be tired.  
  3. Our emotions.  The anger which keeps surfacing is telling us something, the pain which we keep avoiding is controlling us and the fear which controls us is keeping us trapped. Many of us grew up without being emotionally healthy.  The trapped emotions from events of the past remain in our bodies and keep triggering until you deal with them and transmute them.     
  4. Our purpose or lack of.  If we do not have a big picture vision for our life, a deeper reason for how we are contributing to the world, we are unable to tap into this passion which fuels us. 

This is the reason I pursued energy medicine. Sometimes life is not linear.  You don’t just set goals and achieve them. There is depth and inner exploration and healing, or the healthy behaviours will not be sustained. My vision is that every individual feels free to make empowering choices. 

 If you need help with your thoughts, or unpacking your emotions or figuring out your purpose in order to have your behaviours aligned with your highest good, please reach out  to me via my contact page.

With gratitude. 

Are you giving your power away?

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I know too well how if feels to be disempowered and almost like a a victim of your circumstances. For years, this has been my default unconscious pattern. But even though it seems impossible, it IS possible to take your power back and stand strong as who you are at your core.

Firstly you need to recognise when you have given your power away. This happens when you feel angry towards another person or you find yourself blaming another person for a situation you are in. There may even be resentment toward them. You feel like a victim of another or of your circumstance.

Then ask yourself these questions. Did I say yes when I really meant no?  Did I express what was in my heart and speak up for myself? Am I judging the other person, wronging them? In what way am I attacking myself by criticizing myself or putting myself down. 

Lastly, take a deep breath in see yourself pulling your power back in, then express your emotion without dumping it on someone else, speak your truth with love and build yourself back up by talking to yourself gently and with reverence..

Ok, I realise it may not be as straight forward or as easy as that but the gist of this post it that we can be aware when we give our power away, we can pull our power back in and we can stand strong in our power.

As always, please reach out if you would like help in any of the above.

With gratitude.